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SATO Wednesday WAG: Melissa Satta (12/23)

The Beauty: Christmas time is almost here, and for your gift, the SATO Santa has given you Melissa Satta. I would apologize as she appears to already be “unwrapped”, but I doubt you mind. Miss Satta is the WAG equivalent of Giuseppe Rossi, because she too was born in America (Boston) only to break our hearts by moving to Italy. Melissa has had many modeling, acting, and TV hosting gigs, but she is best known for anchoring Italy’s naked news.

The Beast: While naked news is something I like, Christian Vieri is someone I do not. His name has appeared in this space a few times, which is just one reason I detest the man known to fans as “Bobo”. Vieri has played in over 300 Serie A matches, and he has played for seemingly every squad. He is best known for his stint with Inter, the only long tenure of his career. He also reached almost fifty caps with the Italian Nats, and he scored 24 goals for Azzurri. 

The Bard: Melissa is a truly gorgeous gal, so here is a poem about her perfection:

Stop the presses and hold the phones, I have a breaking news report.

It has to do with an Italian beauty who is really an American export.

She’s a smoking hot model who is more than a (naked) talking head.

She’s talented and alluring, and she’s smart too and well-read.

Do not let her catch you offguard though, even though her hotness ice melts.

After all, she’s a 3rd place finisher @ Italy’s karate tourney for black belts.