The Beauty: Martina Colombari, how hot are thee? Let me count the ways. You won Miss Italy. You appeared in a film called Radiosex (and the sequel, surprisingly titled Radiosex 2). You starred on a show called “Police Officers”, which sounds like Italy’s version of Baywatch. You are truly a tasty WAG as well because (of course) you have snagged yourself a Serie A veteran. Your beauty is so stunning, surely the man who stole your heart is hunky, right?
The Beast: Alessandro Costacurta (aka “AC Slater”)? Huh? He’s an ugly bastard. In fact, his public position of prominence as Ms. Colombari’s beau makes me sick. She’s so much more than a Jessie Spano, too. I imagine she must find mediocre soccer skills sexy, because AC didn’t exactly have the greatest career before he retired. Plus, he’s ugly, especially because Martina is (in my very humble opinion) the hottest Italian WAG of all. No one else is even close.
The Bard: I can’t pen a poem worthy of Ms. Colombari’s beauty, but here goes:
Martina’s modeling career took off like a rocket, and she quickly became the “it girl”.
Her looks led her to be in demand, and her personality made many men’s heads swirl.
But she longed to find true love, and to become a strong and stable wife.
The fact that she chose AC though made this rational man feel strife.
If I told her this she would probably just promptly call me a “hater”.
I would simply inquire back, “How did you ever end up with AC Slater”?