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SATO Wednesday WAG: Elena Santarelli (09/30)

The Beauty: Elena Santarelli’s face is obscured in the picture at left, which is a shame because her visage is quite beautiful. But, I think the picture still highlights Elena’s best “ass”et. Yes, I know that was a cheesy pun. I also know that Elena, who made a name for herself as one of Elite’s top models, is undeniably beautiful. She has also appeared on Italy’s version of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! Elena’s hot body and Hollywood looks have gotten her noticed.

The Beast: Christian Vieri, the mercurial Italian star, used to date Elena, but she is now better known for her beau Bernard Corradi. Corradi plays for Udinese now, but he spent previous stints with Man City, Reggina, Parma, Valencia, Lazio, etc. Corradi has been around the league several times, and it seems Ms. Santarelli has as well with all the studs she has tamed. While Corradi has always been labeled an underachiever, Elena makes up for it as an all-star WAG.

The Bard: Miss Santarelli deserves a better sonnet, but here is all I can sing for her:

When it comes to Italy’s beauties, most have at some point held the title of WAG.

Unlike normal girls, these ladies figures are flawless and their silkly skin never does sag.

That is why the average woman doesn’t make an appearance at a soccer tourney.

They know they can’t compete with girls like Elena, who snagged herself Mr. Bernie.

His ability to woo her is vastly more impressive than any trick he could do with a ball.

So Bernie is an honored man, even though his career stats may not qualify him for the Hall.