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SATO Wednesday WAG: Elisabetta Canalis (09/16)

The Beauty: Elisabetta Canalis had to overcome a lot to make this list. First of all, she is now dating George Clooney, who is not a soccer star. But, she did date soccer players previously, thus preserving her one-time WAG status. Second, she’s not as talented as many other WAGs on this list. But, I think she belongs here as her strong modeling career makes up for her brief stint as an actress (including her work in Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo).

The Beast: Prior to dating Mr. Clooney (aka Dr. Doug), an actor whose films I generally like (but a man who, for some unknown reason, I detest personally), Ms. Canalis dated a soccer player whose skills I typically respect (but a man who, for the same unknown reason, I detest personally), Mr. Christian Vieri . Wait a minute! Maybe the “unknown reason” I hate these guys is because they have dated Ms. Canalis and I haven’t? No! Never, never. Well, maybe. I loved O’ Brother, after all.

The Bard: Elisabetta, if the whole Clooney thing doesn’t work out, remember these words:

Before George Clooney came calling several soccer stars Ms. Canalis did daze.

Her beauty and wit caused them quite a snit and the path to her heart was a maze.

She didn’t seem to want them, instead appearing in the films of Mr. Schneider, yes Rob.

Luckily she was not injured when patrons who saw that film later formed into a mob.

Now she will spend her days with a former Batman whose bat tits likely do sag.

But I will always remember her before she met Danny Ocean, back when she was just a WAG.